Remember common sense?

It seems that some of the young "green" bar patrons need some lessons on how to act in a bar. You can spot a young "twenty-something" a mile away. How? They're usually the ones loud, sometimes rude, extremely drunk by the end of the night, breaking stuff, starting fights. Well, actually, this sounds like alot of people. Maybe we all need a refresher course in bar etiquette, read on...

Etiquette 101

Don't break stuff in the bar, what are we, angry drunk gorillas tossing imaginary Samsonite luggage around? (if you don't know what that means, we know how young you are) Eventually, it just helps to increase drink prices for all of us, including you.

So... how hard do you have to work for your money? The bartenders and staff are not there to be your personal slave, no, really, believe it or not. If you had do deal with all the drunk assholes that they do, maybe you'd appreciate their service. Imagine yourself in their shoes, then tip them, and tip them well (just don't tip them over).

Banging your beer bottle on the bar for attention just states your "assholeness". Eye contact is all that is required, showing money might work also. Also, order correctly, that means the alcohol first and the mix second. For instance, there is no such thing as a Diet Morgan, you say Morgan Diet (if you are ordering a Captain Morgan with Diet Coke). Say it with me...M o r g a n D i e t .

If you walk up to a busy bar and don't know what you want, that's just wasting your bartenders time, and you're not the only one there. You aren't buying a car here...make up your mind before it's your turn.

Tell the waitress right away if you're going to use a credit card (save her some mileage).

Being rude is not going to get you better service. Again, the bar staff is there to serve you, not be your servant.

You know it will cost you money for a drink. So, if they make you 3 drinks and 5 shots for your party, and you wait until they're done before digging through the crumpled bills in your pocket to pay, rest assured you have earned their ire. And a LONG wait the next time.

Don't start shit in a nightclub. First off, the bartender has probably been in more fights than you, smacky. Second off, we have a little thing called 'security' (aka doormen) that love nothing more than to put the smackdown on shitheads like that at the first sign of trouble.

Jeez, don't spit in the ashtrays. That's just plain disgusting.

Can the band play this song....?

First and foremost, don't try and talk to the band when they are in the middle of a song. They're working, for crying out loud! And don't think that every band can just play any song. They may have heard of the song you are requesting, but that doesn't mean they know how to play it. Above all, don't be a pain in the ass.

How much is that equipment?

Never, never, never touch any DJ or band equipment. Do you have any clue on how expensive the gear is? If you don't have a clue, you will if you break something. Some of the stupidest people think it's funny to jump on stage, grab the microphone, turn knobs on the soundboard, come on people, think, think, think.